


champagne's for celebrating (i'll have a martini)

by itsfromjapaAAAAAAAN (Random13245)



Series: there's no you and me, this impossible year [6]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Again, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sad, if y'all didn't already hate Noah you oughta, listen my other fic is my smut containing fic I'm not adding that here it doesn't fit, me?? Writing a sad fic??????? NEVER
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 15:28:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12111714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random13245/pseuds/itsfromjapaAAAAAAAN
Summary: So why'd you have to go?Is there something I could say to make you turn around?Cause nights like these I wish I'd said don't goIs there anybody there?Can anybody help to get me out of here?Cause you're walking down a road that I can't go





	champagne's for celebrating (i'll have a martini)

**Author's Note:**

> WHOOP
> 
> whOOOPS
> 
> UH
> 
> cover art is here: http://aminoapps.com/p/392eym
> 
> so this is another one I showed excerpts to my friends and they were all????? Crying ???????? Over just excerpts ???????? so like ???????????????????????
> 
> ANYWAY THE SoNG thiS time around is Champagne's For Celebrating (I'll Have A Martini) by Mayday Parade

_*She left her books, her car, her clothes, and a note,_

It happens quickly. About two months after the failed wedding, suddenly Noah reappears. And what's worse, Michael seems like he’s so easily letting him back in.

Jeremy had grown close to Ava after the incident, and Ava to Christine, so together as a trio they collectively worry for Michael and hate Noah. Jeremy wishes he could get some kind of glimpse into what is going through Michael’s head as this all happens. It's a stab to realize Michael must not think enough of himself to deserve better than that _asshole_ -

But then Michael disappears.

_*But all she wrote was, "Tonight I'm leaving on a train."_

It's Noah, of all people, who finds the note first- Jeremy doesn't want to think about all the reasons why he was there in Michael’s apartment, near his bed. They all have to set aside their distaste for him when he tells them what happened. He doesn't say why, he says he doesn't know why, though the trio agrees he's hiding something. Maybe it's just their general distrust for him, though.

Ava is the first to try and call Michael, figuring maybe he wouldn't pick up for Christine and he definitely wouldn't for Jeremy or Noah. But even she gets the voicemail message.

But the voicemail message is purposeful, it's not just ‘leave a message’ it tells a story.

 _*She says she's headed west,_  
_To make it right for one more night,_  
_And, well, I don't blame her if she is._

Jeremy isn't sure what happened, but he doesn't really blame Michael. He'd want to disappear too. He remembers Michael telling him he doesn't believe in love and wonders what havoc Noah has wreaked upon that belief. To make him think maybe love was possible and then abandon him only to suddenly come back. Jeremy wants to punch him.

 _*But he thinks it's just one more sunset_  
_And after all, it's her fault_  
_If she hasn't caught on yet._

Noah keeps talking to them as if they are his friends. He talks about _when Michael comes back,_ this and _when Michael comes back_ that. Jeremy clenches his fist under the table, noticing Ava doing the same. None of them want to be the one who finally breaks the strange tension between them; with the three of them against Noah. No one wants to be the one to explode first, though Jeremy reckons if it was going to be any of them, it would be Ava.

What infuriates Jeremy the most is Noah seems to be under the impression that Michael is somehow his again. And that once he comes back, they’ll somehow start a life together. Almost as if he complete forgot what he did. Christine is the only calm presence at the table, and with two small looks, she levels out Ava and Jeremy’s fury. It's clear she's just as upset as they are, but much more passive.

Jeremy wants to scream. _He's not yours! He never was! You don't_ deserve _him, you fucking dick!_ But he keeps his mouth firmly shut. Michael isn't _his_ either.

 _*So why'd you have to go?_  
_Is there something I could say to make you turn around?_  
_Cause nights like these I wish I'd said don't go._

What scares him most is the fact that Michael might just go back to Noah when he reappears again. If he actions before leaving are any indication, forgiveness wasn't far.

What confuses him the most is why Noah so easily earned forgiveness, while he is still constantly scrambling for it. What does Noah apparently have that he doesn't?

 _*Is there anybody there?_  
_Can anybody help to get me out of here?_  
_Cause you're walking down a road that I can't go._

And, of course, he wonders what happened to make Michael leave so suddenly. The more he hears Noah talk about _when_ he comes back, the more he's reminded that Michael was content to leaving without a trace and without planning on ever coming back- he had to be tracked down by Christine.

 _*She says she's headed west,_  
_To make it right for one more night,_  
_And, well, I don't blame her if she is._

Michael knows he can't run away forever.

He ran because he couldn't breathe anymore, not with Noah crowding his thoughts and Jeremy constantly on the sidelines of his brain. He always planned on coming back, though. Once he had his thoughts in order again, once he knew what he wanted.

He comes back quietly, though, and is back home for over a week before anyone knows. Something about that pleases him, it highlights his ability to fade into the background like he so desperately has always wanted to.

The only person he ever talks to about why he left is Christine. Jeremy is part of his bigger problem and Ava is too hot headed. He tells her everything.

He kind of hates himself as he melts back into Noah's arms, letting him sweep him back off his feet. His heart is still reeling from the romantic whiplash.

 _*But he thinks it's just one more sunset_  
_And after all, it's her fault_  
_If she hasn't caught on yet._

“Run away with me,” Noah says into his neck, kissing him in all the right places. Twisting him around his finger.

“What?” Michael sputters, not expecting something like that leading into sex. He doesn't want to admit to himself that Noah knows exactly what emotional buttons to push and when. He knows when Michael is the most vulnerable and most agreeable.

“I mean it, Michael, run away with me,” Noah repeats, “we could never be together with your friends around.”

And, well, he has a point. His friends hate Noah, and while he understands where they're coming from, he doesn't know why they can't be happy again for him.

He brushes off the question and pulls Noah back down into the bed.

 _*So why'd you have to go?_  
_Is there something I could say to make you turn around?_  
_Cause nights like these I wish I'd said don't go._

“Why are you doing this?” Jeremy asks him, having accidentally walked into his apartment while he was packing. To run away with Noah, like he had suggested.

The answer seems so obvious. “Because I love him.”

“You never used to believe in love,” Jeremy says quietly. It's an accusation and he knows it, but he still lets it provoke him.

“Well, I was stupid. Besides, it's not like I ever knew what love even was before him,” Michael replies. He knows exactly what he's saying, too. He knows how much it will hurt Jeremy. He knows it's a lie.

Jeremy’s lip trembles for a moment, but Michael can't find it in him to care. He's so _tired_ of this, this- whatever it is with him and Jeremy. This back and forth, this push and pull. He's tired.

“I would've thought you did,” Jeremy says, another accusation, but now Michael has exhausted his anger.

“I’m never going to find someone who loves me again,” Michael mumbles as he zips up the suitcase. Except this time, he believes what he's saying.

He can practically see the outburst coming from Jeremy before it happens. “ _I_ love you! For God’s sake, Michael!”

Michael knows this, but he doesn't at the same time. “No you don't,” he keeps his eyes downcast firmly on the suitcase. He's afraid if he looks into Jeremy’s eyes, he’ll be forced to admit it. The words _‘I love you, too’_ are just on the tip of his tongue. He doesn't want to say them, not now, not when he's halfway gone already.

“Is there anything I can say to make you stay?”

 _Yes, just say it. Just ask me to stay, don't dance around it._ “No.”

 _*Is there anybody there?_  
_Can anybody help to get me out of here?_  
_Cause you're walking down a road that I can't go._

He spends one more night here, with his friends. He doesn't tell anyone that this is going to be his last night out with them, the only one who knows he's even planning on leaving with Noah is Jeremy, and he doesn't know _when._

 _*Try as I might,_  
_Just can't handle this,_  
_I lost myself inside a drunken kiss._

He's four drinks in, trying drink away his anxiety over the fact that he's about to leave. Noah would be upset if he knew Michael was out, at some club with his friends, right before they were going to leave together. He'd be even more upset to know Jeremy was there.

So when he finds himself drunkenly dancing with Jeremy, he can't even begin to imagine how angry Noah would be.

But he's too drunk to care about that, instead he focuses on the bass of the music reverberating through the floor, the heat of the room. And Jeremy, _Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy._ He loses himself in the fun, throws caution and care to the wind by pulling Jeremy even closer as they dance.

And then Jeremy lurches up and kisses him, and his mind is reeling. He moves one hand to cup Jeremy’s cheek, a subconscious indication of how much he wants this again, wants _them_ again.

 _*And I, all that I wanted was to walk you home,_  
_Save a sad song for the sing-along._

But he comes to his senses when Jeremy moves just a little to close, pulling away like he'd suddenly touched a hot stove.

“Why have we only ever done that when we’re drunk?” Jeremy almost giggles, sounding strangely giddy. Of course, he doesn't know that Michael’s decision is set. He doesn't know it's too late for him to go back. He must think Michael pulled away so quickly like he did because he was nervous.

And he is, but that's not why. All he could see is Noah’s face, the look in his eyes as he begged Michael to run away with him.

And how much different it is, kissing Jeremy. Kissing Noah always felt like he was being done some kind of favor, it was always a little cold. But Jeremy felt so warm, inviting. Kissing him felt more like he was being offered something, something he _wanted._

 _*Oh my god, I just can't handle this,_  
_I lost myself inside a drunken kiss._  
_And I, all that I wanted was to walk you home,_  
_Save a sad song for the sing-along._

But he couldn't accept.

“Because it's a mistake every time,” he replies coldly.

Jeremy’s heart breaks in his eyes, he can see every terrible moment of it. “Michael…”

“I have to leave,” Michael turns on his heel and runs out of the club, instinctively calling Noah, crying into the receiver.

_*And she thinks she'll be my tourniquet._

“He doesn't love you, Michael, for God’s sake!” Noah is shouting, his face red with anger.

“I know,” Michael’s voice is small.

“ _I_ love you!” Noah shouts again, and Michael just nods quietly. He doesn't miss the fact that Noah is basically repeating everything Jeremy had said, but reversing it. Twisting him up.

“Noah, please, let's just go-”

“Do you love me?” The question seems gentle, but his tone is harsh and accusing.

“Of course I do!” Michael shouts desperately. “Let's just go, okay?”

“Okay.”

 _*As the record on my stereo,_  
_Plays her favorite song for two whole days,_  
_And the drag stretched out for miles and miles._

In apology, Noah plays all of Michael’s favorite music in the car. And Michael hums along, though it's otherwise silent, though.

He never stops to ask where they're going, he blindly lets Noah take the lead.

 _*And what she'd give for one more smile,_  
_And how she hoped he missed her,_  
_Cause, God, she missed how he would kiss her._

Life slides into a lull. He lives with Noah in a small apartment several states away from where he had been. He doesn't change his number this time and just deals with and ignores the calls. They slowly stop coming.

Except for Jeremy. He calls every single day, without fail. Sometimes he leaves a message, sometimes he doesn't. Michael doesn't listen to them, but he also doesn't delete them.

Noah really doesn't want him to listen to Jeremy’s messages anyway. He says as much, and Michael listens. He unquestioningly listens.

His life consists of cold hearted kisses and constantly walking on a sheet of eggshells.

He misses Jeremy.

 _*So why'd you have to go?_  
_Is there something I could say to make you turn around?_  
_Cause nights like these I wish I'd said don't go._

“Did you know he was leaving?” Ava cries, pointing a finger at Jeremy, who shrinks back.

“I- Sort of…” he trails off, shrugging noncommittally.

“What do you mean ‘sort of’!” She shouts, angry tears starting fall. Jeremy flinches away.

“I- well I accidentally went over to his apartment when he was packing. He didn't tell me- oh god, I kissed him that night,” Jeremy feels like puking. Michael had to have known he was leaving when he kissed him.

Ava furiously wipes the tears from her face, smudging her makeup. “Oh god, he's with that shithead,” the realization seems to hit her, “he's trapped, oh god,” she scrambles for her phone.

No one’s calls are answered for the longest time.

_*Yeah, you're walking down a road that I can't go._

_I’m not happy here,_ Michael suddenly realizes. The apartment is cozy, but he feels like bird in a cage. Noah is familiar, but he feels like he's clipped his wings. He wonders if love is supposed to feel this suffocating. Maybe it is.

But he meets new people, new people who he doesn't grow close to, but they give input that motivates him to believe that _no,_ love isn't supposed to be this way. But he doesn't know how he'd even begin to leave. He’s grown dependent on Noah, and not just financially.

He's not close to anyone _except_ for Noah. He still hasn't answered one of Jeremy’s calls, but he suspects that might be a step towards leaving. Once he finds himself alone in the apartment during one of Jeremy’s daily calls, he answers.

“Hello?”

 _“Michael, oh my god!”_ Jeremy’s comes clear. _“Holy fuck, oh god, are you okay? What's going on?”_

“I need you to come get me.”

_*Yeah, you're walking down a road that I can't._

**Author's Note:**

> ON A SIDE NOTE; I was thinking of writing a fic more from Noah's perspective based on the song MakeDamnSure by Taking Back Sunday???? I'm pretty sure I'm going to?? But I'd like some input on if y'all would even want that
> 
> "Xander ur a sadist" -my girlfriend


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